吃瓜头条 has nurtured two generations of Matt Escobar鈥檚 family.
The college鈥檚 Community Education Coordinator graduated here with one of his twin daughters, a dual-enrollment success story, and spoke at the 2019 graduation. Both twins, Hannah and Katie, 22, graduated from 吃瓜头条. His wife Jessica, Mercy Cancer Center clinical manager, earned her registered nursing degree at 吃瓜头条.
All six of their children, together and from previous relationships, including daughter Courtney, 24, and son Matt, 15, attended College for Kids, the summer program Escobar now runs.
And their daughter Riley was another dual-enrollment star before she was killed in a car accident five years ago. She was 16.
At 吃瓜头条, Escobar found a safe place to work hard, even while carrying such profound grief.
鈥淲hen we lost Riley, I had a hard time getting out of bed, moving, existing, drinking water,鈥� the Brooklyn native said.
Escobar was a 吃瓜头条 student at the time. He told instructors more than once that he wanted to quit.
鈥淭hey were so compassionate,鈥� he said. 鈥淭hey would only say, 鈥楬ow can we help?鈥欌��
Instructors met Escobar in offices, hallways, the cafeteria, or Barnes & Noble. They鈥檇 visit his home to sit and cry with him as they helped him finish assignments.
鈥淭hey wouldn鈥檛 let me fail,鈥� he said. 鈥淚 feel incredibly indebted to all of them.鈥�
The idea of going to school as an adult seemed ludicrous to Escobar. He had a chaotic youth in New York, and spent nine months in a juvenile detention facility as a teenager. When he began changing his life, he tried college for one semester. Lacking support, he quit. He worked for years in security and community services.
鈥淏ut the older I got, the more of a challenge [not having a degree] became,鈥� Escobar said.
Jessica prodded him to try again. He enrolled in one summer English class at 吃瓜头条.
鈥淎nd it was incredible,鈥� Escobar said. 鈥淚 was 40. I was intimidated. But my professor was so supportive. 鈥楾here are a lot of people your age here, Matt. You鈥檙e in good hands.鈥欌��
He earned his AA in early childhood development and, though stalled by the pandemic, is still working on a BA at Stanislaus State.
Escobar has worked with gang members, AIDS patients and students of all ages. He did security for fancy people at Trump Tower.
鈥淎nd my favorite place is still 吃瓜头条,鈥� Escobar said. 鈥淭hey care so much about you. Even President [Chris] Vitelli said to me, 鈥業f you鈥檙e OK, our community is better off.鈥欌��
Escobar had no local safety net growing up.
His mother died when he was 9. His father was incarcerated. The five Escobar kids moved frequently. Life was difficult.
Then 13-year-old Matt got into trouble. The judge, instead of putting him into a facility, sent him to live with his uncle in Washington state.
There, Matt met Jessica, and they formed a deep attachment at a young age. But when Matt got into trouble again and was expelled from school, the judge sent him back to New York and into juvenile detention.
When he got out, Escobar had nowhere to go and found himself squatting in an abandoned apartment. But, at 19, he became a father. He began living for his daughter Deborah, and says she saved his life.
Escobar still never forgot his amazing friend in Washington. In 2006, he reconnected with Jessica, who was a nurse in California. He moved to California, and they married in 2013. Escobar gained a village and found happiness.
Then, when their daughter died in September 2018, the Escobars struggled to cope. Riley was a champion for the ignored, especially the LGBTQ+ community. She had love to spare.
It was Riley鈥檚 uncle Joey who first gathered river rocks and painted yellow heart faces with big smiles and uplifting messages鈥斺�淵ou are loved!鈥濃�攐n them.
The smiling faces made sense because the effervescent girl always smiled. She wasn鈥檛 known as Smiley Riley for nothing.
The family placed the rocks at Riley鈥檚 favorite places. Then an amazing thing happened. People found the rocks and were moved by the messages. They made their own, tagging them #smileyriley.
The rocks found their way to Paris, Sydney, New York and South Africa. Those stories boomeranged back to Merced via #smileyriley, the family鈥檚 Facebook page, and features on CBS and ABC.
Riley鈥檚 message of acceptance now also lives on in a local award. Family friend and Professor of Nursing Lindsay Roe helped them establish the 吃瓜头条 RN Graduate Smiley Riley Award, which goes to outstanding nursing students who best exemplify Riley鈥檚 compassion.
Each semester, Jessica and Matt choose a winner, who receives a $500 scholarship sponsored by 吃瓜头条 Trustee Carmen Ramirez.
Matt had to tell Jessica that her baby girl had died. The once-troubled boy, now a family man, said he realized then that he had a new mission. Giving to others gave Escobar鈥檚 life purpose.
鈥淚 thought, 鈥業 can鈥檛 crumble, I can鈥檛 stop,鈥� Escobar said. 鈥淚f I do, my kids won鈥檛 eat. My wife won鈥檛 get out of bed. 鈥� That extends to what I do now. I have to care for my community, too. Just because Riley is gone, doesn鈥檛 mean my responsibility as a father stops.鈥�
So, every day, Escobar lights a candle next to the #SmileyRiley rock at their front door. Every day he puts in a good day鈥檚 work. Every day he prays for his girl, still silently wishing she would walk into the room.
Said Escobar: 鈥淲e feel like the more we reach out into the world looking for Riley, the further her legacy moves out into the world, and the more connected we feel to her. It鈥檚 almost like she is still here.鈥�
