It began easily enough.
A group of 吃瓜头条 students had gathered on Zoom last summer to participate in an improvement program. The single parents were all recharging their batteries before the fall semester.
Towards the end of the three-day event, EOPS/CARE Coordinator Nora Martinez, CalWORKS Student Support Coordinator LaDenta Smith and keynote speaker Sade Burrell asked the students: What else can we do to help you and your children?
鈥淭hat鈥檚 when we started talking about a mom group where we could support each other outside of class,鈥� said Cerissa Martinez, 32, an Early Childhood Education and Psychology major with a 10-year-old son named Adrian.
That is how Motivating Other Mothers (M.O.M.) was born.
鈥淸The meetings are] their time to vent,鈥� Smith said. 鈥淭hey share things that they wouldn鈥檛 share anywhere else.鈥�
The M.O.M. group, with 10 to 15 regulars, are all CARE and CalWORKS program participants who receive services as low-income, single parents.
Why do they need their own space in addition to the services?
鈥淭heir issues are different from other students,鈥� Nora Martinez said. 鈥淭hey have school, work, motherhood, childcare. They wanted a place where they could feel safe expressing their concerns, emotions and stress.鈥�
Martinez and Smith organize activities they hope will spark organic conversations about those unique struggles.
鈥淲hen we first started, I thought we鈥檇 just talk about issues,鈥� said Serina Watts, 40, a Photography and Digital Arts major with a 5-year-old daughter named Iyanah.聽鈥淚t鈥檚 not that at all. The activities force us to look at who we are and who we want to be. 鈥� That hour is my time to breathe.鈥�
For example, participants have painted their feelings on canvas. They鈥檝e chatted with an adjunct counselor about love languages. Prior to Thanksgiving, they shared things for which they were grateful, and were free to feel grateful for things besides their children.
鈥淚t reminded them, they鈥檙e not just moms, but human beings with their own needs and emotions,鈥� Nora Martinez said.
Throughout the fall, the mothers also read and journaled about a book called Let That Sh*t Go. The mothers got into that one, Smith said.
鈥淭hey鈥檙e bonding,鈥� she said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 a place where they feel safe. They don鈥檛 judge each other about anything they鈥檙e saying or doing.鈥�
The women share information, thoughts and reassurance.
鈥淕etting help and feedback from a peer is different from hearing it from your parents or someone else,鈥� Watts said. 鈥淛ust the experience of watching other people like me 鈥� it鈥檚 like we鈥檙e raising each other.鈥�
Student-parents make up 22% (3.8 million) of all college students in the U.S., according to a published by the Institute for Women鈥檚 Policy Research.
Those student-parents are often the first in their families to try college. Their families support them, but may have no idea how to help with registration, financial aid or troubles with professors.
The mothers feel isolated. They find it hard to ask for help, even if it is earmarked for them. While up to 120 students use CARE and CalWORKS at 吃瓜头条, Smith and Nora Martinez say there are many more who don鈥檛.
Some won鈥檛 leap over the stigma of accepting government aid. Cerissa Martinez said the M.O.M. crew has helped her shrug that off and gain confidence in how she raises her son.
鈥淛ust hearing the words 鈥� welfare, single parent, cash aid 鈥� can keep people away,鈥� she said. 鈥淏ut to anyone who feels that way, all it takes is one step into the building.鈥�
Nora Martinez said the M.O.M. group is succeeding because the mothers feel like they belong there.
During a recent meeting, the group met and played Millennial Loteria. The Spanish-language game is akin to Bingo, except updated for millennials with squares like 鈥淪tudent Debt鈥� and 鈥淟a Selfie.鈥�
While drinking hot champurrado and eating pan dulce, Cerissa Martinez said the game got louder and funnier as time went on. Her stress decreased as the event went on.
鈥淚 realized, 鈥楧amn, we鈥檙e really bonding over laughter, jokes and sarcasm,鈥欌�� she said. 鈥淪ometimes us moms need a place where we can laugh and not be judged for it.鈥�
Nora Martinez said the issues the mothers in the group deal with would 鈥渂low your mind.鈥�
鈥淵et they鈥檙e surviving,鈥� she said. 鈥淭hey鈥檙e so strong.鈥�
They鈥檙e empowered by the support and the access to services. They help each other. They have an outlet. They want to give others the same.
鈥淭he best thing I can say to anyone who isn鈥檛 in the M.O.M. group right now is to just come check it out,鈥� Watts said. 鈥淒on鈥檛 be shy.鈥�